ShARiNaH:ExpResS YoURseLf

why do you have to take away all the happiness with you when you went away.....you left me with nothing but sorrow but pain....i tried...i really do, to forget, to keep moving forward, but how will i do so without you by my side.when i cry there's no one that knows how to persuade me....i miss all those times so dearly...oh god, please...I'll trade anything with you for my father......i still remember how u were so happy when i told u i got to further my studies into foundation in a local university.....those happiness i could never see again, the kiss you always plant on my forehead i will never feel again.....papa, if you're reading this, i would like to tell you that I've been accepted into university to study medical doctor. i succeeded just like you once dream I'll be, but why haven't you come to wish me good luck, why are you not here to send me to my university like the last time you did, you kissed me and you told me to study well and to be the best....i did but why are you not here to see all of this....i want my papa....i want you more than i want anything in his world...if I'm brave enough i would have ended my life to be by your side....but I'm a coward who wish to live and to wait for miracle to happen to me......that one day I'll find true happiness but now i sincerely doubt wether that day will come.....because all that I've been through my life is sadness, depression, guilt and sorrow....god i wish i could end all this once and forever. Everyone hurt me, everyone hates me.....even if that's not true i feel it so....and even if tried to wipe those black spot in my heart, i still feel so empty, so lost, so ALONE....