why do you have to take away all the happiness with you when you went away.....you left me with nothing but sorrow but pain....i tried...i really do, to forget, to keep moving forward, but how will i do so without you by my side.when i cry there's no one that knows how to persuade me....i miss all those times so dearly...oh god, please...I'll trade anything with you for my father......i still remember how u were so happy when i told u i got to further my studies into foundation in a local university.....those happiness i could never see again, the kiss you always plant on my forehead i will never feel again.....papa, if you're reading this, i would like to tell you that I've been accepted into university to study medical doctor. i succeeded just like you once dream I'll be, but why haven't you come to wish me good luck, why are you not here to send me to my university like the last time you did, you kissed me and you told me to study well and to be the best....i did but why are you not here to see all of this....i want my papa....i want you more than i want anything in his world...if I'm brave enough i would have ended my life to be by your side....but I'm a coward who wish to live and to wait for miracle to happen to me......that one day I'll find true happiness but now i sincerely doubt wether that day will come.....because all that I've been through my life is sadness, depression, guilt and sorrow....god i wish i could end all this once and forever. Everyone hurt me, everyone hates me.....even if that's not true i feel it so....and even if tried to wipe those black spot in my heart, i still feel so empty, so lost, so ALONE....

Sonnet 116

From my point of view, i believe that people are forgetting things that are not supposed to be forgotten, such as classic literature. I know that your first impression after reading the word 'classic literature' would be BORING. But to those who truly understand the beauty of it, they will merge with it. I'm sure that all of you have heard of sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare but have you ever heard of the sonnet 116 written by the same man? with this note i enclose the poem and the meaning of each lines so that you too will get the whole picture of what it truly means.....and perhaps then you will change your impressions and by any chance start to like classic literature....like i do....


Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.


Meaning:

I will not give reasons as to why two true minded people should not be married

I will not admit any obstacle or denial to them, love would not be true love,

when it changes when the circumstances changes as well,

Or it moves from it firm stand when one of the lover is unfaithful,

No that is not true love! True love is a fixed mark like a light house,

That have witnessed the worse types of storm, yet never shaken,

It is the guidance star to every lost ship that need to find it's way,

And like that star, the true value of love is unknown even though it can be measured by hearts,

Love is not fooled by time and by appearances,

Beauty falls within the range of time's curved blade, for as one grows old, one's beauty shall fade in time,

Love shall not change by hours of weeks,

But it lives firm and strong till the end of one's life,

If what i state about love if not true and it is proven wrong,

Then i take back what i have written all this days or no men has truly loved.....


This is just beautiful...it's one of my fav...i hope you like it too.....oh and by the way, i written the meanings on my own self.

I Saw A Reflection....

I saw a reflection,
Of a woman so lost,
Trapped in her own world,
Crying, screaming,
Yet no one seem to hear.

I saw a reflection,
Of a pair of eyes so blackened,
with hatred and rage,
And tear tear of blood,
Flows in an endless stream.

I saw a reflection,
Of a heart so wounded,
Like a shattered glass,
Silence replacing its lullaby,
That once sang with every beat.

I saw a reflection,
Of a soul so morbid,
Stained with hurt and grief,
Hovering restlessly,
In a void of skeleton.

I saw a reflection,
Of a face that stares back at me,
That's when i realize,
The woman in the reflection,
was me.....

by:
Sharinah Ibrahim
19 March 2011

The Physics Of The Quest....

"The Physics of the Quest" goes like this; If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting and set out on a truth-seeking journey either externally or internally, and if you are truly to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself then the truth will not be withheld from you.....
Adapted from Eat Pray Love.....

Rich????........

Men, chocolate, coffee....
Somethings are better rich....^_^

Lost

A junior soldier who have just return from a war
was talking to a senior soldier who have been to more than
a dozen wars. The junior soldier said;
“It was my first war and I ‘ve lost a hand already, what did you
lost on your first war sir?”
The senior soldier answered;
“Boy, you don’t wanna know what I’ve lost,But I’ll tell you this,
I never reproduced anymore.”

~Sharinah Ibrahim~

A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman, a woman is lucky if she is the last love of the man. -Charles Dickens

Any man can get a million girls any day. But it takes a real man to love one girl a million ways!

Why do god create men before women?

Becoz god needed a rough draft before creating his master piece....
Just a joke buddy....

Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover......

Well, just reading the title gives you the whole idea as to what i want to say.....but trust me you might have no idea, how it hurts to have people judge you trough stupid or insignificant things.....like your appearence, your silence, your lack of responses to idiotic things and even events that involves you to react in your own way.

Now, i don't really want to talk about appearances...coz i know that is universal and people are never going to stop judging that aspect even if you shot them with a machine gun, or run a whole bulldozer on them or chain them up and rip them into pieces.......coz all this years of my life, if i ever learned anything, it's this; appearances describe eveything that true nature, iq level or attitude cannot describe... for example, if a woman is beautiful but stupid and act like a total bitch....then she's very acceptable into societies and men would drool over them.....but when a woman is, let say less beautiful but intelligent and have good attitude, then she's just another one of those people who's best ignored or be tortured with teasings and mockings for the rest of her life......wow...what a world we all living in huh?....

Anyway what i really want to talk about is this.....your silence and your lack of response to idiotic things......people think that when you are silent or have lack of response to certain things, you are weak and they stupidly assume that they can step on your head and drive you crazy easily....but trust me this type of people are best left alone coz the thruth is they're not what they seem.....they're worst....and how do i know this?....coz i'm one of them.....certain people assume that since i'm all fragile and vulnerable, that i'm incompetent to do most things and i'm too weak to take a blow or face something terrible just because they assume that i'm what i seem to be...but babe, you get me all wrong.....the last thing you know about me is that i'm good at keeping thing to myself.....there's an inner thing in me that you'll wish you never cross.....i'm all crazy babe....and you don't wanna mess with the Sharinah...hehehehe...anyway...

I know the world isn't gonna change and so am i....the very least thing i can really do is ignore and act stupid.....but don't be fooled people even the nicest person has a bad side and the baddest people has a good side....=)

Something forgotten.....

For some reason I keep feeling as though I have forgotten something....something rather important to me, something that would have meant a lot to me....but it was lost...lost for so long that I couldn't remember when was the last time I've seen it. I keep asking myself what could that missing thing be...but even after hours of mind boggling, I still couldn't find what it is that I have so dearly forgotten. My heart sensed a new burden for as long as I do not remember it, my soul won't be at peace. Days and nights I keep thinking and I try to penetrate deep into my thought hoping that sooner it'll come back to me. But it was on a cold rainy night that i finally discovered what I have forgotten all this days. My mother's laugher. The woman who bored me for nine month have forgotten how to laugh and I have forgotten the sound of her laughter. It was as though she had buried it with my father. She smiled but it does not reach her eyes, she's happy but it does not reach her mind......but most importantly she's brave but it does not reach her heart. She used to be beautiful and young even though her age was pushing fifty....but within months, she became old...older than her age lets her to be.
I know she's alone, tormented inside and very much weak but who am i to change the fate that the god have decided upon us....i cannot bring my father back, i cannot travel back time nor can I make her forgot everything as though nothing happened. But there are things I can do....I'll put a smile on that face, I'll make her laugh again with all her heart, I'll take care of her just the way she took care of me since i was little, I'll build new memories with her that she can cherish for the rest of her life but most vitally I'll give her hope....hope that everything will be fine and someday we'll find our happiness in a whole new journey of life. That I will promise to you Ma.....Love you forever and ever more.

Life is an explicable labyrinth,
Molded since the day we were born,
Tangled with destiny and despair,
Yet a journey far to be held.

A victim,
That's what i am,
Stupefied by the vagueness of life,
And shrouded by melancholy.

But there's a combatant in me,
That strives in every twist of life,
With only memories to hold on to,
And love to guide my soul.

I will once again rise,
From the ashes like the phoenix,
And face life as a true warrior,
Battling myself up to the zenith.

bY ShArInAh iBrAhIm....

My Hero, Why Have You Left My World So Gray?

I kept staring into space for no reason. I could feel the hollowness in my heart as it grew bigger each second. To the eyes of others i might have been happy,and carefree, but only i know how much i cry at nights thinking of the only missing part of my life...my hero, my papa...the man who raised me up to more than i can be. I still remember all those sweet thing that you did for me papa since the day i know the world till the very last moment of your life. You always said that i and Tarwin is your world and nothing is important to you than your family. And you have proved it so many times that you and only you became the man of our highest respectation.

Do you still remember when i was seven years old and i did a very terrible mistake and you accidentally burnt my hand? the scar is still visible on my right hand papa and believe me that I'm grateful that it happens, because every time i see the scar it reminds me of you and symbolizes that you're a part of me. Every single detail that i never cared before this, became the things that i hold so dearly because all of it reminds me of you. Like the time you'll tickle me when i'm angry or i'm sad in order to make me laugh. Some times it pisses me off that you do that to me but now i would do anything to get one chance...just another one chance to feel your hands ticking me....and to see the smile on your face and the laughter in your eyes as you find my behavior funny. I can hear the laughter fading as tear started to roll down my cheeks.

Every time mama called me, i couldn't stop myself from crying because i know she's all alone in the house. I can feel her sorrow and pain and i know that she cries every day, thinking about you. But she never told me, she'll pretend like she's so brave and that she can still continue with life so that i and Tarwin would be strong enough to keep on with our life. Even now i can still remember the way you and mama will fight about lots of things but the passion that the two of you radiate is so strong that none of that ever came in between you for i can see the love in your eyes and her's. So pure, so true. It always amazes me that every time you wake up from sleep the first person you'll search for is mama. You always said to me that she's the reason that you have became the man you are today.

Papa, i want to see you again, i want to touch you and kiss your cheeks like i always do when i go to school or before you went to work and i want to hug you tightly and never let go. I was so careless before for i have forgotten that life is like a journey, where there's a beginning, there always be an ending. I have hurt you a couple of times and in so many ways but still your love toward me never lessen even the the tiniest fraction....it only grew bigger. You really like it when i massage your head or your feet but stupid me, i have always sighed, mumble, pouted or even refused to do it. I have always been dumb and a mindless jerk who happen to not realize that i was lucky to have you as my father. Oh god, how much i pray to once again touch my father's feet while he sleeps with a smile on his face.... too late......fate have gotten the best out of me.

But i still can make you happy...i believe it. You have worked so hard to give me proper education so that in the future i need not to suffer like you have during your youth. And so i will. I will do the best in my studies and make you proud of me. I will always pray for you that Allah The Almighty will forgive your sin and open the doors to heaven for you. And i will with no doubt take care of the other being in my life who meant so much to me as you do. Mama. I will never hurt her and i will treasure every moment i have with her.

I have learn my lesson. Life hold so many perplexity and death of a beloved one is one of it. The easiest way to overcome it would be to give up on life and keep on mourning forever, but the hardest way is to keep moving forward and strive to make life much better with only memories to hold on to. I guess life is always about making the hard choice because those who took the easy way always perish in mid journey.

The Day I Lost My Beloved Father

On the 24th of June, at 11.30 p.m. I received a phone call from my brother asking me to fly from Sarawak back to Kuala Lumpur as soon as possible. He claimed that my mother was very ill and was going for operation for her knees as i knew she was suffering from arthritis. But i was having my biology exam on 25th of June, so I kinda hesitated. But my brother forced me to come and so does my mum, which is weird regarding her being the sick one, and that my father didn't even speak to me. He never did that. So I decided to take my flight first thing in the morning. But peculiarly i couldn't sleep all night. I feel hollow for some reason. I bathed at 4 in the morning and i was roaming around restlessly to wait for Miss Effa who will bring me to the Kuching International Airport. I couldn't even eat my breakfast for I was suffering from nausea. My flight took of at 9.30 a.m. and i arrived at LCCT Kuala Lumpur at 11a.m. Suddenly my aunt and uncle came to pick me up at the airport. Which Is way too weird. Then when i was in the car on the highway, my uncle broke the silence.
"You know that your father got a heart attack right?" He told me and at that moment my mind went blank, i could feel my heart stopped beating for a moment and my breath was caught on my throat. Of course i don't know, how dumb could he be to ask me such a question.
"Is he okay?" i asked.
"He's not okay." came my uncle's reply. But i still wouldn't loose the fight.
"You mean he's not okay as if he's in ICU or something but he's okay right?" This time i asked more sternly.
"No, he's not okay." The same answer. He's really starting ti piss me off.So i turn to my left, where one of my relative was sitting, Hanisah. I didn't ask her anything but she understood what i needed to know. Tear stated to flow down her cheeks and she just shake her head. That time i might have the slightest idea as to what happened but i was fighting that possibility so hard in my mind that i couldn't accept the mere idea. Can anyone just tell me what in the name of hell just happened. I just wanted to shout. But that's when the truth came.
"He passed away." Hanisah said. My head started to swarm and my eyes went blurry. I realized that i was hyperventilating. I was trying to register this piece of information in my dumb head.
I couldn't speak. I felt my lips move but i didn't feel my voice coming out. At last I manage to say "what?". My aunt explained that my father had a heart attack on 23 June at 2 a.m. He fell on the floor when he was peeing and didn't move at all. My brother and mum rushed him to the hospital. The doctor explained that my father had a severe heart attack, one of his valve in the heart burst, causing internal bleeding. His sugar level was 27 and he was in a very critical condition. Later on 24th of June his kidneys stopped functioning and one hour later he blow his last breath around 10.45 p.m. after the doctors have struggled to save him.
I cried and cried and cried.I screamed like hell in the car. I don't care anymore. I was too scared to get back home. They said that the reason they did not bury my dad yet was to wait for me to come. Once i reached the parking lot, i rushed to my house. But when i reach my house gate and saw my dad's body inside the house, i fell hard on the floor and start weeping. I keep saying to myself that this is not true. That sooner I'm going to wake up and i'm going to laugh at my own bad dream. But that soon never come. My brother picked me up and escorted me into the house. My dad, my hero was lying there motionless and it tore my heart apart. The hurt that i felt was unbearable and i was trembling from head to toe. I managed to kiss my father's forehead and his cheeks. He felt as cold as snow that it terrifies me to a level beyond imagination.My most beloved papa. Nothing and no one can ever replace him anymore. It feels as though i have lost a huge chunk of my soul. God why this have to happen to me....to my family.
Everyone ask me to stop crying because they know that I'm a brave woman, but the truth is I'm not brave, I was so scared, so uncontrollable that i almost go berserk. The pain was too unbearable and I'm still 18 and young. This is just too much. I have been preparing for something bad when my mum wanted me to come back because my instinct sensed something like that and usually my instinct were never wrong but not for something worst. My heart couldn't take it and i kept crying for the whole day until my face cramp. I want him back, i want to seek forgiveness from him and tell him that i love him and i want to hug him and kiss him and treasure every moment i might have with him...but it was too late, he's gone. But only from his body not from this world. I can feel him looking down at me and staying by my side. i promised him once that no matter what happened I will continue my studies and one day become the best doctor. And i shall keep to that promise. All the memories that i had of him i will treasure till the day of my last breath and he will live forever in my heart and the heart of all those people he have come across in his life.
May Allah forgive all of his sins and open his ways to heaven. Amin.

In Memories Of Hj.Mohd Ibrahim Bin Esop a good man, a good husband and a good father.

The symbol Of A New Life

The smell of blood was pungent,
And bodies lay motionless around me,
Screams and pleads deafening me,
As war erupts,
Annihilating everything on its path.

I wondered,
Is this how it’ll ends,
Fear, rage, vengeance and hatred,
Burning mankind into nothing but ashes.

Tear slide down my stained cheeks,
I stand there in the heart of my birthplace,
Staring at the eyes of death itself,
And watching as buildings lay in ruins.

There’s nothing left,
Of what has once been hope,
Replaced by grief and despair.

But then I saw it,
A butterfly so serene,
Flying through the remnants,
Looking for a flower,
As I doubt that it will ever find one in a place as such.

Even so the butterfly never once daunted,
It keeps on looking, and looking and looking,
And it even came up to me,
As it tried landing on my face.

I laughed at its persistency,
But in the middle of nothing,
Was a little flower among the dirt,
The symbol of a new life.

Now I know that hope never dies,
With everything that we endure,
It will either bring you down,
Or build you stronger than before.

I believe that it will all end,
For war can never overcome peace,
For it is after all the nature of life,
One day peace will be blessed upon us,
And that day shall be the day of our independence.


SHARINAH IBRAHIM

In My Heart

It was a cold rainy June day,
When you left my world so gray,
I still remember kissing your icy cold cheeks,
As warm tears slide from my eyes,
I still remember,
Those moments we shared in joy,
The memories we created,
and the dreams that we made,
But now,
it seems like ages away,
but every memories i treasured,
and every dreams i make come true,
Sometimes i can't believe you're gone,
You always swore you'd never leave me alone,
When i see all the other girls with their father,
The pain in my heart was unbearable,
If you were here, i know what I'd do,
I'll stay by your side and never let go,
But even though you're gone, You'll be forever,
In my heart.


I would like to dedicate this poems to those who have lost a father....
And to those who still have their father, please treasure each moment you
have with them , for you might not know what lies a head....
Happy Father's Day....
I LOVE YOU DAD!!!!!!

Sharinah Ibrahim

The Flower Song (Excerpt)(WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE)

To hear your voice is pomegranate wine to me:
I draw life from hearing it.
Could I see you with every glance,
It would be better for me
Than to eat or to drink.
Romeo and Juliet....

Fallen From Heaven

Fallen From Heaven

You had fallen from heaven straight into my arms,
Igniting my heart with your sweet seductive charms.

Showed me light in life that I'd never seen before,

Something that my heart and soul had been longing for.

Spread your caring angel wings right over my head,

Protecting me and saying what had not been said.

Those three simple words that I was needing to hear,

Were right in-front of my blind eyes but was unclear.

Clouds were smothering me and all that was around,

Until an angel flew down and then you were found.

The smoke disappeared leaving a vision of you,

A strong feeling of love that seemed long overdue.

The way that you would shelter my soul from the rain,

As you would clear away the storm ridding my pain.

You'd feel and heal the beating of my broken heart,

Painting a smile on my face like a piece of art.

Released all the emotions that were trapped inside,

Warm fuzzy feelings that I'd always try to hide.

Romantic enchanted fairy-tales pranced in my mind,

In books of make believe; my prince I needed to find.

Sweet tunes would play as I would look into your eyes,

And I could see the man who was hidden in disguise.

The Savior who had fallen from heaven above,

Is now the angel who helped me believe in love.

Sharinah Ibrahim

SONNET XVIII (William Shakespear)

SONNET XVIII
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
By:William Shakespeare